


will a night ever stop feeling like an entire day,

by Rastro



Category: nada mas - Fandom
Genre: M/M, OCs - Freeform, gay gay gay gay gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 12:30:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6329206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rastro/pseuds/Rastro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dante thinks abt shit at night and he gets angry, feels eli is too good for him<br/>self doubt and losing confidence</p>
            </blockquote>





	will a night ever stop feeling like an entire day,

Dante laid at the edge of his bed that night. Knees on the floor, leaning on his bed resting his head on his folded arms. His stomach felt weird, he felt light in the head. He thought about everyone he knows. Everyone feels like a stranger, everyone feels like name. A name written with lead that can be erasable in an instant. Nobody meant enough to him, nobody held so close to his heart he felt he could keep them around. Maybe that was how everyone felt about him. A boring, introverted, aggressive boy with social anxiety and the inability to control his emotions. That’s what he was, he felt; one of those people. The people nobody hated but also didn’t really like. It was worse when you’re fifteen. Fifteen and feel everyone has a knife to your neck, even the people you love. Thinking about yourself at night makes you feel like throwing up, like the world is sucking you dry. Then you start to hate yourself because that isn’t what's happening, that’s just what it feels like, then you feel like a selfish asshole who just wants attention.   
“There is nothing wrong with wanting attention.” That isn’t true. If it’s so not wrong, why do people keep telling him to stop calling out for it when he does anything. It’s awful, he can’t stand it.   
Dante looks at Eli and wonders how he loves people, he just loves people. He sees good in everyone, and somehow things work in his favor. Dante is thinking too much, he tells himself he’s just overthinking everything. Of course people are going to be nice to Eli, why wouldn’t they.  
Dante bites his arm remembering what happened today, yesterday. His head gets hot and his eyes start to water, he wish he could remember that day better.  
He remembers, he walked away from the crowd, the crowd watching Eli wave to Dante, and Dante just walking away. He punched the locker and felt his knuckles get warm, he hates himself for this part.   
“Dante!” Eli called, he sounded breathless, like he bolted down the halls for Dante, who didn’t even utter a word. He just looked at Eli, lip bleeding from where he was biting. “You- Your hand, your lips! Are you-”  
“Stay away from me.” Dante said, in a low voice. Eli looked hurt, really hurt. Fuck you, Dante thought. I shouldn’t be hurting you, why do I hurt you?  
“I- I’m sorry I don’t understand.” Eli began taking a step forward, walking to Dante who didn’t move. “Dante-”  
“Stop.” Dante growled low, and rudely. Eli almost flinched, but not from fear, but surprise. He opened his mouth to speak but said nothing. “I don’t- I don’t want you here.” Dante felt an odd weakness in his voice. Right now he would be getting ready to hit, defending himself. Instead he felt tightness in his throat, and he was shaking. Dante wanted so bad to be mad at Eli, he wanted to be furious, that's how he thought. He felt himself shaking, his knuckles started hurting too much. He felt Eli’s hand come and gently hold his closed fist, as if it was the most fragile thing in the world. He felt Eli’s other hand come to his arm, and hold him. Days are so weird for Dante, he either knows them as his hands or sees them like a blurr. A blur of a movie flicking by so quickly. Frames of Eli pulling him to a hug, walking him to the bathroom to clean his hand, letting Dante cry into his shoulder, and allowing him to shout and yell. This day was the first time Dante surprised himself and Eli, it was a new, uncomfortable, but oddly relieving; to for once let out your emotions from crying.  
Dante sat up and laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He’d have to talk to Eli tomorrow, tell him that he was sorry for leaving, and to thank him for letting him cry. It was so weird being with Eli, Dante can’t hurt him. It feels good to just, trust somebody. To have a shoulder to cry on that isn’t family. It’s all so nice, hurtful, and relieving. So maybe he was wrong, in his theory that everyone will always be a stranger.  
Eli feels like a stranger he knew his whole life.

**Author's Note:**

> honey he gay (sad)


End file.
